Zola 7 Confirms Marriage While Bernard Parker Advises Men

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Bathandwa egameni, let’s open this sermon by echoing some Ray Chikapa Phiri of Stimela…,

Therefore…, Heyiii! Ho-haa! ho-ho-haa, ho-ho, haa! Zwakala nganelo. That is because reho tshwaretse ditaba tse bohlokoa. So, the We Are The Legacy Of Fatherhood is the banner under which a group of men gather at the posh Sandton Hotel the other Saturday, 19 November. Due to attending the funeral things first, the writer only gets to catch the after-lunch discussion, ne- ane. And ooh boy, what a refresher. 

Some Men Are Just Foolish Liars 

First…, Shall we start with a bit of did you know Chappie’s quickies that got dropped by some of the speakers? The panellists include Musa Mseleku, Dr Victor Ramathesele, Professor Shingai Mutambirwa and thespian Dr Jerry Mofokeng. Of course, in a moment, we get to the Bonginkosi ‘Zola 7’ Dlamini and Bernard Parker bussiness.

Now! Madoda, make we hlebel’ you. You see…, One of the things that come out of the conference is that when you lie in a relationship, you are just deceiving, basically fooling yourself. Yes, Indeed, apha kwa ThiVi Network we say ke laka le o. Quickly to the next point. Maye mna! Batjho prostate cancer is the biggest killer of South African men. Therefore amadoda should get into the habit of having at least one annual health assessment. 

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“Men don’t take their health seriously. It is only when their erections fail then they go to a doctor. Otherwise, they self-medicate,” says Dr Ramathesele. Dr Jerry Mofokeng only finds out at age sixty-one that he has prostate cancer. Ergo, mandonda wakithi, the good doctor and prof Mutambirwa say regular check-ups can help detect prostate attackers like diabetes and high blood pressure. Ehe! Enemies of awuleth’ umshini wami, mshini wami – induku eshaya kamnandi (eqinisa umuzi )okwe Ngoma ka king Thandiswa Mazwai. 

Erections Under Attack

Then the conference hears. Eighty per cent of South African men suffer under stress, which leads to issues of poor service delivery in the sack due to erectile failure. Hence most cannot boldly echo the line by Mgarimbe that goes Sibhe…, Yibidi aah! Well, it also turns out that it takes three to five minutes of sex for an average man to cry out the big announcement of…, ‘Here I come, daddy is coming for you, baby.’ Now for some sweeteners. Ehe! Good sexual health is said to contribute to financial health. Yekeke khese nenze i tsipa-tsipa kamnandi madodekethu – no violence.

Ah! Another line of wisdom from amajimbos at the conference is…, A narrative is a powerful force because the narrative shapes the vision and drives perception. So, black men should try to own and drives their story.

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See The World Through The Eyes Of A Boy Child

There is a view an African boy child is frustrated, ignored and neglected in South Africa. Perhaps a turn at any prison facility and a tour of areas regarded as ghettos would confirm such a perspective. Thus the noble deed of fathering, by family-driven banna, should stretch beyond a particular family unit. Take the story of Bernard Parker. Parker, the former Bafana Bafana and Kaizer striker, grew up in three households. Feelings of shame made it hard for him to go home, a one-room shack. So he stayed with better-off friends, where he made himself useful- by washing dishes and cleaning around their houses.

“My father stayed in the same street where I grew up, but I was fathered by and received love from a man who was a neighbour. I never got even ten cents from my father. For this reason, I say, as fathers- we should live to make a mark, touch a life and give light at the end of the tunnel. All I can say is (fathers) BE THERE (for your families).” 

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But some fathers are the type that is just around. They hardly have diverse conversations with their sons and daughters except when there is trouble or a request for money. Alas…, Such may perpetuate the narrative men are only good for and are wanted in the lives of others merely as ATMs. Of vele kunjalo bakwethu?

Of course, the conference would not be complete without a thirty-nine-year-old Christian man registering a complaint about wifey. She refuses to do a check one-two, check one-two blow me away job on his itotolozi. Shem, the madam, even tends to deny the horny brother his conjugal rights. Does madam not know the verse that says…, 

‘Phanani kubemnandi kwande ubumnandi nenjabulo emshadweni?.”

In conclusion, while exhibiting his left hand, indicating a ‘someone had put a ring on it,’ Zola announced…, “State capture has been done on me” He drove with his partner (reported to be Thato Matseke) to the event, he says. Furthermore, he hints that he  gets frequently approached by young people needing help with their identity.

To the organisers, we say Khaw’phinde Mzala, Mhhh-hoo!


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Pat Cash
1 year ago

written in the language of my heart and the sense of my soul

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